it’s like dude i mean i’ve never talked to anyone about my gender except for my therapist and it’s like for them to not even listen to me it’s like why. like why would i fake something like this is doesnt make sense. like when i try to talk to them [ryan kelly noelle kelsey ect] they wont even read the messages they wont pick up their phones it’s like you guys are my closest friends and i need your support more than ever but instead you’re pushing me away and i don’t understand it. just because i’ve never talked to you guys about this topic doesn’t mean it’s something i haven’t been struggling with since i was a child and they know that i have and i’m just like this is such a shitty way to lose a friendship. god idk anymore i just want to like die or something because i dont have any support from anyone
if i kill myself i apologize
maybe if you love someone youll let them go
i dont know why thats such a hard concept for me to grasp
omf people actually followed oh gosh
i know you arent very happy with me
wow i just dont know anymore
i’m not going to be happy until i’m dead
and wow
that’s close to happening
i don’t even know what to do with you sometimes
i mean like you told me you were going to fix this
but i don’t understand what you’re fixing
because i still feel the same
and you obviously miss him
why did you break up if you were just going to complain about missing him
i just don’t understand you sometimes
maybe thing would go back to normal if you would stop telling yourself they won’t
you have no hope
so why should i
i can’t have this be one sided
so now i guess there’s no side
just fucking wow
casually considering suicide again even though i shouldn’t oops